Thursday, April 07, 2005
.:boulevard of dead flowers:.
for the third time.
good lord..
art lessons have been rather peaceful..
at least we get to have personal time with still-life drawing.
the assignment which took the full 8 periods.
thats a lot of time.
so we got it all done up.
sprayed our fixatives.
ms teh says she wants to display them in the canteen.
oh no.
everybody will see what we do/.
the horrible drawing..
i mean it.
we had 2.4 today./
/i swear i feel so fat when i see all those lard
pulling me down./
okay.i was joking..
it seemed rather short actually.
and yet it was choking.
my throat felt dry and
it was liek i was gonna collapse and faint and die!
are you getting used to the exxageration?
i want the 30 points..
its the last year.
my arms are aching from the strain of carrying the rifles..
sounds rather weak.
it does!
i dunno why i'm in so much pain.
but anyways..
something happened in school.
and then..
i got be feeling all wierd..
then i refused to speak.
i shut and now.
its all better.
silence does help you know..
then pretend
games and *poof.
sweet old dear life once again.
its feeling damn quiet.
i screwed the media player/
now i cant listen to my music.
right..okay.
i even fell for that stupid love song.//wanna feel the warm breezesleep under a palm treefeel the rush of the oceanget onboard a fast traintravel on a jet plane, far away.pretend
games are fun
they really are.
i mean.you never know
when you mean it or not.
and then you fool.
thats nice.
but then again.
how much are having in it for jsut pretending
faking the emotions.
smothering in the feelings.
killing the liking.
engulfing the reoccuring episodes.
the episodes..
which once made me feel on the top.
maybe it still does.
the double C.
i hope you're feeling.
eh..
i've always felt the one way traffic.
it's always been nice that way.
thats how it got me//
i must say.
im neither sad.upset.dissapointed.broken.hurt.
oh fuck.
im not feeling all negative..
todays mood is on the top...
:]]
its got to do with peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches.
my japanese noodles..
and yellowcard.
and maybe some cowtitude which always made me feel
all better after a long way down..
i feel liek screaming
as in being joyful and absolutely glad.
but then//
i'll be bringing in what i did not want to say..
but all i know.
mummy is still confused.
i bet you are..
help me if you get what i mean..
late nights as we pass that empty apartment.
adorned with wiltered flowers and purple roses/ beautifully lited green and yellow lights
which seemed to make our hearts glow so bright.
the bench north 3.
broken pieces of wood.
sound of your voice raised me up.
and the voice which sang.
and i knew that.
no matter what.
you will be my final choice.
cos you made me feel wonderful no matter what.
initiated oppprtunities./
do you.
or do we.
the breeze on your face.
that smile which was jsut pleasant.
thats how i see it..
//you and i collide.kankan and i are so addicted to it.
i exist in the world you prolly
never expected me to come into.
your life.
screamed at|9:40 pm
