Saturday, April 02, 2005
.:turn your back away and leave:.
i guess that this is over now i guess it's called the falling outbut everyday i'm learning how to make it through this life i'm inno one deserves to be caught.
no one should feel upset and
do the things they not want to.
maybe its jsut new.
and hello.
excuse me.
get used to it.
but why did i reacte.
why am i just not accepting.
i cant.
i won't.
i don't want to.
and prolly..i never will.
but the fear of falling might jsut come.
i'm quite near that.
i'm thinking too much.
i fear consequences.
they hurt and
rip your heart like it was meant to be.
i've never felt this weak.
i thought i was strong.
i was blind.
i'm just as pathetic as how the others are.
i think i'm there.
but im miles away.
i've gotta learn.
but i just don't want to fall now..
not now.
not ever.
i want time alone...
forever.
i fucking hate this.why am i bothered!okay..i got awaken by the alarm which
went on at 6.20
and since then.
i could not get back to bed.
and whats worst.
my mind was thinking.
thinking about the thoughts of yesterday.
all of the rubbish above.
which i spilled.
i'm just a retard!
i'm stupid.
but at least i know what i want!
and so..
im here trying to do whetever
it is thats labelled fun.
and thats music.
good music..
i want the volume up.
so i can scream and
release whatevers inside!
//i expected to get what i want.i begged.i wanted to want so muchand i wont get it.and yet..im being selfish..//oh and yes...
i never did liek peanuts.
not much of a peanut butter fan.
and now..there
peanutbutter and jelly spread.
i'm going crazy over it.
i'm eating it everyday for breakfast.
even for dinner.
the jelly just makes the whoel spread.
stupendously good!
want some peanutbutter and jelly sandwich?
in just a matter of minutes.
there i was.
all the thoughts i felt.
a mixture of feelings.
and lets say personalities/
im schizophrenic!
bullshit!
i feel better already/
i still love my
YELLOWCARD!:]]
and god!
she was the girl next door!
screamed at|6:43 am
